Let’s See if Anyone is Reading This Blog

If you are, type the first sentence of your WIP in the comments section! Here’s mine:

I heard them before I saw them.

(In other words, I showed you mine, now you show me yours.)

29 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

29 responses to “Let’s See if Anyone is Reading This Blog

  1. DD

    I have two WIP in progress. So here you go:

    Unnamed WIP:
    The solid wooden door slammed against the back wall and vibrated as Blake Kingley stalked into the grand room blood stained his clinched fists.

    Demon Licked:
    Tara O’Nell tugged at the end of her sleeves trying to cover her fingers as they morphed between human and demon while dogging bar patron’s sloshing beer bottles and tobacco spit as she eased toward the stage.

    Cool Topic Kim!

    Deb

  2. Fun stuff! I also have two wips. Here’s the first, from my short story “Bridesmaid Blues” from Wedding Flirts!

    “In conclusion, birds poop, goldfish go belly-up, and dogs hump at the worst moments.”

    And from my MG novel, The Biggest Weirdo In The Whole Eighth Grade:

    “I pop the top back on my marker and admire the new butterfly haiku I wrote on my prairie skirt.”

    Who’s next?

  3. Okay, I’m up. Here’s the first lines for Those Who Fear a novella targeted for Decadent Publishing. . .
    Dreary. Damp. Drizzling.
    The change of seasons had little effect on the three-D forecast for Easton, New York, a Buffalo suburb perched on a bluff overlooking the Western edge of Lake Ontario.
    “Nice night for a protest march,” camera man Jack Elliott muttered. “What are the chances of snow in April around here?”

    Kat

  4. “Shoo, you nasty creatures!”

  5. If the voices in my head would calm down… (Wait, that didn’t sound so good, did it?) -lol
    Well on that note- here we go->

    WIP 1
    I never see his face… but can feel his presence.

    WIP 2
    What is wrong with you man, you’re missing out on the money!

  6. These are all so great! I took a fantastic online class once about crafting great first lines and opening scenes. It’s crucial to hook a reader right away, I think.

  7. K.L. Gore

    Ha! I leave take take my kids to doctor appointments and gymnastics and come back to some great beginning sentences. Maybe I should take my kids out more often. 🙂 Here’s a sentence from my other WIP:

    Ol’ Gertie’s head was bigger than my torso, her udders like partially inflated balloons.

  8. Author Les Edgerton has a great book on first chapters (and first lines): “Hooked: Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One & Never Lets Them Go”
    http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hooked-les-edgerton/1102359728

  9. Darryl Burrows

    I have several things in the works (my backstory series consists of 8 or 9 novels, depending on where I want to go with them), so here goes with what I have so far:

    “The young woman, barely a woman at that, braved knocking on the great door that led to his house.” from “Rose”

    “Jonas Longstreet peered out from the underside of the coach as it pulled into the long, dirt path which led to the grand estate of his dear, old friend.” from “No Home for the Wicked”

    “The woman heard the sound of men’s voices as she bathed in the stream and started at the sound.” from “Jewel”

    “Marion Wainwright handed her son a basket with some food and bade her son well on his fishing excursion.” from “For Love of Money”

    “The warmth of the sun on his face and the lull of trees rustling in the gentle breeze caused Rab Argent’s eyelids to grow heavy and, eventually, set him to dozing with the scent of honeysuckle in his nostrils.” from “Argent”

    ““This is not Cameroon,” Captain Gallaghan declared, stepping off the Jack Abernathy onto the beach.” from “Angel Unawares”

    No guarantee that these will remain the opening sentences but this is what I have for right now.

    • Wow, a lot of great opening lines there, and a lot of diversity too.

      • Darryl Burrows

        Thanks, Lisa. All the stories take place in the 2nd half of the 1800’s. The main story has many of the prequel characters connected somehow (ala Lost).

    • K.L. Gore

      Okay, Darryl…when do you find the time to write? 🙂 Nice!

      • Darryl Burrows

        I try to squeeze it in before bed so I am at least writing a few hours a week. A lot of the writing is patchwork and then I go back and fill things in later. Like I said, some of these opening lines may change as it goes on.

  10. I think next we should do last lines. That’d be fun, too.

  11. Just got back in town and read all these first liners. Great stuff from everyone. Lisa, you are too funny. Love them. Here goes the my first liner from my next submission–1880’s schoolmarm in Wyoming—
    Thwack!
    The well-aimed object impacted dead-center between Lorelei Webster’s shoulder blades.

  12. K.L. Gore

    Ooh. Nice, Bev. I want to know who threw the object and what the object was…and why it was thrown!

  13. Thanks K.L.. Everyone’s hooks are so great that I wanted to read more too. (Lorelei is out to stop domestic violence in the town and the angry men in town have labeled her ‘Miss Neb-nose’.) So here’s the rest if you really want to know–
    –Knife piercing pain stabbed deep as flames sizzled across her skin. Its bite didn’t begin to match her humiliation, or the warning behind the insulting attack. Braking her footing on the first step up to the walkway, she fought to catch her breath. And inhaled the odor of tomato.
    Unmannered, ignorant bastards. All of them.

  14. K.L. Gore

    Ha ha! Miss Neb-nose. Nice, Bev!

Leave a reply to kathy cottrell Cancel reply